Alice was a water breathing cat instead of a mermaid in moments like these Lance thought as he lightly laid on the rocky surface before the prison's entrance. Perhaps Lance was soft but seeing the air breathers in Alice's jail filled him with sadness. There was no way for the humans to get away from his friend's "game" when they were bound by ropes and hanging in the middle of a cell.
Alice's eyes had always lighted up with delight as she looked straight into her prey's eyes who's noses were only a few inches away from the water. Not being able to see her toy's fear when she pushed their heads under water, did not make her game less boring. A smile would appear and grow larger when the human resisted her force but her head would tilt left to right when their resistance grew weaker as time went by. She would give her toy's head a quick push out of the water and snicker as she swam towards the next victim and eventually the exit. Their cries for help never reached her ears and their scared faces meant nothing to her.
Lance's eyes closed but quickly opened when he felt cold water drip on to his face. Alice brushed away the loose strands on his face and smiled. Her face was so gentle, the young merman would have liked to forget what went on inside a cat's head before taking off to leave the prison.













Comments
Alice's eyes had always lighted up with delight -- should be "lit" up.
Not being able to see her toy's fear when she pushed their heads under water, did not make her game less boring -- you don't need that comma.
Nitpicks aside, I liked this enough to read through it and write a comment, which says something in this world of being inundated with art.
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=eldestmuse, formerly ~ladyofx
Contrary to popular opinion, the plural of 'anecdote' is not 'fact.'
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Yes, Deviantart main focus seems to be drawings, paintings, and anything that does not have words. Prose and poetry often gets over looked here. Thanks for taking your time to read this!
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My artwork [link]
Critiques are always welcomed.
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--
=eldestmuse, formerly ~ladyofx
Contrary to popular opinion, the plural of 'anecdote' is not 'fact.'
I follow #GimmeFeedback, #ProjectComment & #Genre7!
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